Friday

Holy cow, Friday cannot come soon enough! I keep looking at all these baby hats and bows and tutu's on etsy and I'm just dying to know what this baby is so I can start buying it cute things.

I NEED TO KNOW! I don't know how people can wait until the baby is born to find out. I think it's pretty cool but I have never been one to be patient.

Christmas

I really am obsessed with etsy. I could be on there for hours. Some people have pinterest, I have etsy.
If this baby is a girl then it's only going to get worse.

Christmas was okay. Even the day of I couldn't really get into the spirit. I know it'll be better when Nathan is back and Noah is older and can understand what is going on. It was fun seeing him playing with all his toys. Nana and papa sure do spoil that kid! Nathan got to skype with us while Noah was opening his presents so that was nice.
We pretty much just hang out all day and watched Christmas movies. I love watching It's A Wonderful Life! At night we played the Wii for a bit, it's been awhile since we've played it. We had fun!

Anyways, back to etsy for a bit before I decide it's time for bed. It's always hard to sleep when Nathan isn't laying next to me.

Ohhhh... And....

HAPPY 16 WEEKS TO ME!

Finally getting energy back. One more week until we find out the sex!

Holiday Season

Today is my mom's birthday. It's also John Kay's birthday.
We are going to dinner tonight and then having a small birthday party tomorrow. It's nice to have good people to surround yourself with during times like these.
I cannot believe that last year on this day I have a two month old and I was spending it with Nathan, my parents, sister, her family, and my grandma. I remember Noah had his 2 month well baby on that day also. My parents had a wine probe at their house. Man, this year has gone by so fast.
Things are so different this year. Nathan's gone, baby number two is growing in my stomach, Noah is such a big kid.
This holiday season is just lonely. Nathan's been gone for 2 weeks now. It's gotten easier but it's still hard not having him here. We aren't even having a traditional Christmas this year. It's just going to be my parents and us. We are having steak. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy about that, it's just crazy because it doesn't feel like Christmas. I haven't even wrapped the majority of our presents. I just am not in the mood. I feel like the Grinch. I hope that going to church on Christmas will help bring out the spirit a little bit.
We will hopefully be in California in a week and a half. If my doctors appointment wasn't next Friday then I think we'd be trying to leave earlier. I'm ready! I cannot wait to see everyone. Caitlin's baby should be here any day. Yay! I love our BIG growing family. :)

Crazy Girl

An obsession of mine for the past few months.

Nathan's gone :(

Biggest news, and most noteworthy, is that Nathan left yesterday. I have never in my life been so affected (?.. for lack of a better word) by a change. Even when I had Noah. There were major changes and a lot to get used to but I wouldn't say that is shook me too much. Last night was the worst! I put Noah to bed at 7 pm and found myself with nothing to do. I was going out of my mind from boredom and loneliness. I felt like my head had just been cut off. It's weird for me to feel that way. I love change, embrace it even. Leading up to Nathan leaving, I felt fine. I knew he was going to leave and I knew I would miss him, I just didn't realize how much.
Luckily, I consider myself a strong person. I am usually great and holding it together. I'm not a fan of people feeling sorry for me. Today, I am feeling much better. I was able to somewhat keep myself busy. It helped that I got to skype with Nathan for a little bit. I'm so thankful for the internet during this time!

So moving on. Today was the very first time I felt baby number 2 kick/move around. I have to admit, I missed that the most. Even when Noah would pound my insides at 2 am, I always enjoyed it. I get paranoid sometimes that something is wrong with the baby, it's reassuring to feel it kick. We hopefully get to find out the sex on the 30th. I will be 17 weeks. I know I'll be happy either way, I just want to know. I am too impatient. I need to start shopping for this little one. I have surprised myself by not buying anything for it yet. Not one thing. I can remember buying a little gender neutral robe and socks the week after I found out I was pregnant with Noah.

I am excited about visiting the states. It has been a year and a half since I was last there. I enjoy living in Germany, I love the traveling, and there are many many things that I know I will miss (Christmas markets). I do, however, miss the United States quite terribly. I have a mental list of everything I need to do. It mostly included places I need to eat. Yes, yes, I am a cow. Just the other day I was talking with a friend about this food we used to always eat, it's called musabi and it's Hawaiian. I have been researching Hawaiian restaurants in Sacramento, Tuscan, and Abilene. The best one I could find is in California. I'm going to convince Dawn to go with me (Dawn, if you are reading this, you will be coming to this place with me!!!!! And it's in Roseville so it's a not too far away from either of us). I am also excited to see my new little baby "nephew" Carter. My best friend had him a month ago. We are going to spend a week with him in between California and Texas.
There will be a lot of firsts here. So many people in our familes haven't seen Noah yet. It'll be the first time seeing Jessica and Sheldon after Patience passed away. There are 3 new Kay babies that we haven't met yet. :)

Saturday is our Christmas party. I will be happy to have that over with. I enjoy helping to plan these events but since this was the wrong time to help out! I am excited to get dressed up and spend time with friends! My friend Liz is going to be my date (her husband is deployed as well). Plus, I can't really say that I'd willingly turn down a free (good) meal! :)

Okay, I'm boring myself now. It's time to stop.

Pregnancy and a Toddler Don't Mix

There is so much going on in my head but for some reason I cannot sort everything out. I am starting to believe it's this pregnancy, but it could also be how busy life has been these last few months.

This pregnancy has been a little different than my pregnancy with Noah. I know, every pregnancy is different. I just mean I feel different about it. Don't get me wrong, I love knowing I have another baby growing inside me, I guess I'm just not as attached to this him or her yet. I keep trying to remember back to my first trimester with Noah. I remember being terribly sick and miserable (which I'm not so much with this one) but I can't really remember how I felt. I know it could be a lot of things. I have Noah for one. He always keeps me on my toes. It could be that I am so busy with him that I don't really pay close attention to the fact that I am pregnant. It could also be that since Nathan will be leaving in a couple weeks I've been preoccupied with that. It could even be that since I am not really showing and I can't feel it moving around, it hasn't completely sunk in. I'm not sure. I just know that I feel bad about it. One thing I noticed early on was my inability to fall asleep quickly. That has been my biggest problem. I am exhausted and I get bad headaches but no matter what I do it takes about an hour for my brain to shut off.

My little Noah bug has been something else lately. Ever since he started walking my day has been all about chasing him around. He is an explorer, that is for sure. He loves to get into the cabinets and pull all our pots and pans out. I finally gave him his own cabinet with bowls I never use, lids, and spatulas. Everyday he gets the spatulas out and carries them around with him. It is really cute. I have been trying not to baby proof my house. I read in a parenting magazine that if you just teach them what they cannot touch rather than just blocking things off, they have a better chance of understanding that no means no. I know I explained that in a weird way but it made sense to me. I can already tell that Noah does not get into the cabinets he isn't supposed to and he doesn't play with the sockets. Hopefully that means it is working. He does however have his fathers temper. He throws at least one temper tantrum a day. It's usually when we take him out of the bath (his favorite place in the world) or when it's bed time.

He is now awake from his nap so I am needing to cut this shorter than planned. Did you know that it is next to impossible to be on the computer with a toddler in your house? It is.

Run

The music to this song has been stuck in my head all day long.

Nathan always makes fun of me for not really caring about the words or meanings of songs. I can't help it, I enjoy the beat. I should seriously start playing the drums or some cool instrument.

Hurry up, please.

I get like this sometimes. Infact, just a handful of blogs back I had the same feeling.

Annoyance.

Mostly by people. Pretentious people, close minded people, people with agendas. Why is it so hard to find good hearted people in the world today? Maybe it's not the world, but the military. I couldn't tell you, this is all I know. One thing is for sure. I'm tired of it. I'd rather have no friends than be surrounded by these people.

I really need to get away. See my family and best friends. Next year needs to come quickly.

Do You Want To Know - Alkaline Trio

One of my favorite songs of all time. Definitely favorite band.

You know..

I feel like so much goes on. I have so much to do. Then I look back at it and realize I have nothing to tell about. Maybe that's why I struggle so much with this blog. I just don't have anything interesting to write.

Noah is crawling now. He started a couple of weeks ago. It's quite funny the way he does it. He gets up on his knees and then turns his left knee out and tucks his foot under his butt. Then he just pulls that leg along. He still manages to get around faster than light. He is everywhere and into everything. I'm going to be honest for a second.. I could pass this stage and be fine. I mean, I'm happy that he's reaching new milestones and I was quite worried about him crawling but it's hard to keep up with him at times. Especially with teething added in. He wants to play with dangerous things and then when I don't let him he just screams and throws a big ol tantrum. I can tell you this though, I'm learning a different kind of patience. I love Noah very much. Most of the day he's in a good mood and we have a lot of fun. He is making so many noises. I love listening to him. He also recently learned how walk forward in his walker. He follows us all over the place. It's adorable.

Our trip to Italy was great. It was very relaxing. We just hung out and didn't have any specific schedule. It did rain a few days while we were there but the sunny days definitely made up for it. Me and Nathan got sun burnt, him worse than me. That's what he gets for having pasty skin, hah. I'm getting really excited for our next trip. It really wasn't even bad bringing Noah. He did great (aside from sleeping, we didn't bring his pack n play so he slept in our bed). The plane ride wasn't too horrible either. I wish he would have slept on it but he is a kid and we were somewhere new. I think we are going to England next. Not for tourism, just to see friends. I miss England!

I am seriously thinking about taking a space a flight back to California in August. I just can't make up my mind. It's a lot more stressful than a regular flight, and with a child I might lose my mind. I do want to get back and see Patience though. Nathan is okay with me going, I'm just nervous is all. I have some planning to do I suppose.

Nathan's Girlfriend

Done

So. I did it. It's been done. My breasts are now the size I have been wanting for too long. Well, hopefully. They are bandaged down and I haven't had the chance to see them yet. I can notice a difference though.

I cried before the surgery. I tried hard not to, but lets face it, I'm a wimp.
I hoped that they would knock me out before I ever made it into the operating room, they didn't. I don't do well with cold infamiliar places, especially when I know something big is about to take place. 

I remember when they knocked me out. It was like I was on acid (I'm assuming since I've never touched the stuff). There were a lot of colors and shapes and I had a really annoying song stuck in my head. I also remember feeling myself start to wake up. I remember hearing them roll me down the hall and hearing Nathan's voice when I was finally in my room.

When I woke up the first time I was still completely exhausted. The doctor came in and even he could tell that I was not completely there. The nurse tried explaining how to take care of the wounds but I couldn't focus on her so she told Nathan instead. I was so tired but I couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep. I've always been a "side sleeper" so having to sleep on my back has been miserable.

I was nauseous the first few days. The only other surgery I've had is my wisdom teeth and I didn't do well with the anesthesia or the pain meds then so I should have known I'd have the same problem. Let's hope for my sake that I never have to have surgery again. I have an incredibly weak stomach. I can deal with the muscle and incision pain, it's the nausea that just killed me.

The past two days I've been doing really well. I can move my arms quite a bit more and I've been able to eat things slowly. I actually went grocery shopping yesterday. It felt good to get out of the house. Today is the first day that I was able to get out of bed by myself. Before I would have to wait for Nathan to wake up or call him so he could help me. I hate relying so much on someone else.

I have to wear my bandage for 10 days. I get it off next Wednesday. They will also remove the stitches and drain tubes. I can't lift anything for 3 weeks and I have to wear a sports bra for awhile. Oh the things we do for self esteem.

Noah's Birth Story

I just put Noah down for his nap. As I was looking at him laying there in his crib, so adorable, I realized that I never really wrote about his birth. He'll be 8 months old soon.. I should have done that a long time ago. Oh well, I guess better late than never.

I remember the days leading up to his birth. They were long and exhausting. For months I was positive I'd have him early. I don't know why, maybe it was just wishful thinking, but I would have bet on it if the opportunity presented itself. Imagine my surprise when the day of my 40th week hit.
That day was very emotional. I wanted Noah to be here. We went to my doctors appointment. They hooked me up to the fetal monitoring machine but there were no contractions. After waiting at the hospital for over an hour, we were told we weren't even going to see the doctor. The nurse asked me a few questions and told me that if I hadn't had the baby in 10 days then they'd induce me. The thing that I just didn't understand was why on earth they'd wait that long when throughout my pregnancy they told me that our baby was going to be a big one. I didn't have much say so we went home and I sat around all day feeling sorry for myself. Pathetic I know, but I was done. I didn't want to be pregnant anymore.
After Nathan got off work he convinced me to go walk around with him. We went to Hela and just kind of browsed. Then we went and picked up a few more things that we needed for Noah from the B.X. and then FINALLY got a chair for the nursery. It was one of the last things we needed. I was happy to be able to feel ready. Maybe that is what was wrong, I didn't feel ready and neither did Noah. Or maybe it was the miles of walking we did that night, what it was, things finally started to happen.
I woke up at 5 am feeling sharp pains running down my stomach. Days before, I had thought I had minor contractions but they ended up being Braxton Hicks. After a few minutes I chalked these up to be the same. I tried to go back to sleep but after about 20 minutes of the same thing I realized that these were real. I didn't want Nathan to have to wake up so early, especially if I wasn't in hard labor. I layed in bed until about 5:45 just counting the minutes between my contractions. They started at about 6 minutes and by the time I woke Nathan up they were at about 4 minutes apart. I took a quick shower and while I was in there I realized that the contractions were getting a little harder and were now 3 minutes apart. I was really nervous because the video I had watched said that if you get to 2 minutes apart the baby is very close. The hospital that I was having my prenatal care at was about 25 minutes away. I didn't want to deliver in the car (little did I know, I was far from it) so I hurried and got dressed and made sure everything was in order. We grabbed what we needed, Nathan called his mom, and we were out the door by 6:30 am. We got to the hospital a little before 7. My contractions weren't too bad, I was able to walk, but I felt them coming stronger and stronger.
The midwife hooked me up to the fetal monitor and checked to see if I was dialated. I thought for sure that within the next two hours I'd have the baby. I mean come on.. my contractions were so close together. I'll remember how wrong I was the next time I have a baby. The nurse informed me that I was 1 cm dialated (WHAT!!!! not possible) and that I needed to go walk around for a little bit. One of the nurses set me up in a room and me, Nathan, and my mom started walking around the halls. After about 20 minutes of stopping every 30 seconds to rest, I decided that this wasn't going to work for me. I was in so much pain, I literally couldn't walk anymore. I had to sit down. We went back to my room where I switched between sitting in the chair, sitting on the bed, laying on the bed, walking around, and leaning on Nathan. Nothing helped me. All I could do was cry. I'm such a baby when it comes to pain. By this time, I was incredibly hungry but with all the pain I was feeling there was no way I could eat. My dad brought us Burger King but I couldn't even bring myself to take one bite. After a little over an hour of sitting in the room we headed back to Labor and Delivery to get more fetal monitoring and to check my dialation.
My contrations were strong and close together, some of them were even off of the chart. At points they were even one right after the other, no break. I remember having one that was close to 3 minutes long. I thought that I was going to die. I was dialated to about a 4. The midwife could tell I was in a lot of pain so she asked if I wanted an epidural. All throughout my pregnancy I knew I wanted to do it natural. Mostly because he was my first child and I wanted to feel everything, but also because I have heard many horrible things associated with epidurals. So they called the Patient Liason Officer to come talk to me. She had me sign some papers saying that I could get medicine if needed and so forth. She also explained that there was a shot that I could get that was sort of like a stronger version of Tylenol or Motrin. It wasn't going to take my pain away or have any side effects on the baby, but it would help dull what I was feeling. I decided to go ahead with that, they administered the shot into the side of my hip. I was also warned that it would probably make me sick. The medicine helped a little bit. I was able to relax long enough to get short breaks in between my contractions.
Around 2 pm my doctor came in to check on me. He checked me and informed me I was at 6 cm but I wasn't progressing fast enough. He also told me that my water still had not broke and so he was going to break it for me. As soon as he did I felt most of the pressure just go away. It also made my contractions much worse. I remember getting sick a few times and I remember every time I'd have another contraction I'd sit up on the bed or the ball and I'd hold onto the bar above me and rock back and forth. It was the only thing that helped even a tiny bit.
The midwife came back in and checked my dialation about an hour later. I was at an 8. She asked me if I'd like to sit in the tub, that it might help. I decided that sounded like a good idea. She told me I'd have to wait a few minutes though because there was someone already using it. That was fine. I started to feel somewhat better, I was excited to get into the water. I had briefly thought about a water birth so maybe things were going to work out. Unfortunately, upon hearing the news, my doctor said "absolutely not". He told me that since my baby was measuring big and I was small, they may have to do an emergency C-Section. It would be harder for me to go from the water to the operating room quickly so I was out of luck.
It was probably better for me anyways because within that hour I went from an 8 to a 10. The doctor actually had to help me get to 10 cm because I started feeling the urge to push. The midwife told me I needed to lay on my left side to make sure the babies head could turn and get through. Being told you can no move until it was time to push just made things feel worse. The PLO came back in and asked if I'd like another shot in my side. I said yes so she got someone to administer it. It helped a little bit but by this time I was drained. It had been 10 hours since my contractions began, I had eaten anything, everything I drank came back up. I didn't want to go through this anymore. I remember I kept saying "I can't do this" and "I really wish I had the epidural" and things of that nature about this time. I wanted to just die. Then the doctor came in and told me it was time to start pushing. Perfect timing. It had only been about 30 minutes since I was told I couldn't go into the water, but it felt like it took 4 hours. I was lucky, the 8 to 10 went quickly, some people wait forever.
I started pushing between 3:40 and 3:45 pm. Noah's head was quite huge and so we were having a hard time getting him through. I pushed and pushed but apparently I am a little person haha. The doctor asked the nurse to go get the vacuum from down the hall. She must not have found it because she came back about a minute later with nothing. The doctor started yelling at her, I didn't know what was said but I could tell he was furious. It was kinda funny. He managed to get it within 30 seconds. So he was there with the vacuum while one midwife sat next to him and the other leaned on my stomach to help me push. I ended up having to get an episiotomy and then tearing even further. Within 2 minutes Noah was out and getting cleaned up. Born at 3:58 pm, a little under 11 hours of labor. 
I remember the first time I heard him cry. Nathan went over and watched him while they took his measurements and wrapped him up. They brought him to me so I could hold him for a few seconds before getting sewn back together. It was the most amazing feeling. After months of waiting for him to finally be here, there he was, in my arms. That was the best moment of my life. I still remember that feeling so vividly. I really hope that it never goes away. I love my baby so much! He's so beautiful and fun. He fits into our family perfectly. I truly have a wonderful family and a wonderful life!

Sick

So, I'm completely, totally, 100% sick. I can usually feel it coming on a few days ahead of time and I try to make sure I get rest and do those sorts of things to prevent it from taking over my body. Unfortunately, my efforts did not work. Here I am, throat swollen, eyes watery, head pounding, and just drained. I wish I could crawl into bed and sleep the day away. I have a child to take care of though. He's a good kid, I'm lucky for that.

I just hope it passes soon. We have a morale party on Saturday and Monday we leave for Italy.
I cannot express to you how stoked I am for Italy. I hate using the word stoked because it sounds funny coming out of my mouth but I honestly cannot think of a better word to describe my feelings.. without looking something up that is. I'm also very glad we decided to bring Noah with us this time. He's apart of our family so he deserves to go on "family trips". I just keep thinking beaches, beaches, beaches!

We recently have been trying to decide whether we want to go back to California or Spain in August. We'd really like to go back and see Patience and Audrey and all the rest of the family.. but there are so many other factors in deciding. Like one is school. Nathan hasn't decided if he wants to take online classes or not. If he takes face to face classes then he'd miss the first few weeks of the semester. The school he goes to has short semesters as it is (8 weeks) so he'd end up missing a lot. We could go for two weeks in between semesters but he is trying to take a week long class down in Berlin which is the week before fall semester starts, that would only leave us with a week. There is no way we are going to spend that much money to fly back for a week. We may end up going to Barcelona instead.. but we'll see. It'd be nice to go back. Nathan hasn't been back since we had our wedding which by then will be almost 2 years. I don't know, things to think about.

I got accepted into Sullivan University. I start in the fall, all online. I'm excited to get back into school. I think I am finally to the point where it is something that I want rather than something I feel I need to do. More motivation will hopefully equal greater success.

Day Nine

Day 9. A Picture Of The Person Who Has Gotten You Through The Most.

My sister. She's always been there for me. Sure we've had our fights and complaints about each other, but I know that I can always count on her to love me. One specific event comes to mind when I think about this. Right after I seperated from my ex, I was having a really rough time. Not the sad kind of rough, but I was just not a very happy person. I was angry with everyone, I didn't know what I was going to do or where I was going to go. My sister took me in and helped me get back on my feet. She didn't judge me, she was just there for me. This was just a small example. I love her very much and I don't know where I'd be without her. She is one of my greatest friends.

Day Eight

Day 9: A Picture That Makes You Laugh.

My silly husband. He always makes me laugh.

Day 7

I figure I should probably start this up again.
Day 7. A Picture Of Your Most Treasured Item.

I bet you are thinking that I'm going to say my son. That's not false, I love my son very much and he is definitely one of the things I'm most thankful for in life, but he is not an "item" so that's not my answer. If you look at the very bottom of the picture you will see that tiny band around my left ring finger. That is my most treasured item. It's not because of how much it cost or because the diamond is real, it's because of what it stands for. My marriage means more to me than I could express through words. It's the greatest feeling in the world having someone you can love and trust entirely, and knowing that they will be with you for eternity. I love that we have so much in common and that we both want the same things out of life. I'm so happy to have the life that I have and I know everything would be different had I never married Nathan.

Vent

So I can't decide if my mood recently is because of left over post pregnancy hormones or my birth control. I just hope and pray it is not just me. I swear I hate everyone, well most everyone. Okay, I wouldn't even go as far as to say the majority of people.. maybe just like half. I have really strong negative feelings toward people who really haven't done anything wrong. I can't help it, no matter how hard I try to shake it, I can't.
Example. Lately, I feel as though everyone is only looking at for themselves. And I realize it's a natural instict to put yourself before others, but I just can't understand how some people can be so selfish all the time. I especially hate it when people say they will do something and then when the time comes to get it done, they back down. It's like everyone is just letting me down over and over again. I really don't ask for much. Mostly, I just want the security of knowing that people will be there for me if needs be. Isn't that what everyone wants? It feels like the only person I can trust anymore is Nathan. Well okay and Jackie.
I guess I'm just an optimist. I always hope that people will be better than they really are. When will I learn?

RyanAir is dumb!

I HATE RYANAIR!
Yes, they have amazingly cheap tickets, but everything else about them is completely ridiculous. So today we were supposed to leave for Alghero, Italy. I was so excited. After last weekend this was something I really needed! I was looking forward to laying out on the beach for days and not worrying about anything. And everything came together so nicely. Our tickets were 12 euro a piece, we got a nice hotel for cheap. So then today we wake up and check in online. We had a hard time printing off our boarding passes, but finally we got it done. We were on our way to the airport and we were running a little bit late but it was okay because we had enough time to get to our flight. After literally jogging about a mile (long term parking was far away) we get to desk to check in. We show him our boarding passes and he tells us they are our return passes (the only ones we had). So finally he tells us he can print them off for us but they are going to be 40 euro a piece. Yea it was going to be 80 euro for TWO PIECES OF PAPER. Oh well, I didn't care as long as we were going to get onto our flight. So then he goes to print them off and says "you are checked in". Ummmm...... yes, yes we are! Okay so what would a normal airline do? Check you right there.. right? Ryanair is no normal airline. He tells us that since we are running late already that there is no way we can get onto this flight and directs us to a ticket help desk. Mind you this is still about 20 minutes before our plane was actually leaving. So everyone else goes ahead and goes to the flight and we go to the help desk. They tell us that you have to be checked in online 4 hours before your flight and not a minute later (we checked in 3 1/2 hours before our flight). So when we checked in it didn't process that we had checked in for our flight today, only for our returning flight on Monday.. which is why we only got our return boarding passes. So we are like "okay well what do we need to do to get onto this flight?". Nothing.. there was "nothing" they could do for us to leave today. The only thing we could do was to get on the flight for tomorrow night which was going to be 100 euro a piece. So with that we'd be getting into Italy tomorrow night, have all day Sunday and then leave Monday morning. It just wasn't worth it to spend 200 euro for just a day and a half. After we picked up Noah and got home we checked online to see how much it'd cost to buy a one way ticket for tomorrow but it'd only be like 20 euro cheaper so we decided to nix the whole thing. Instead, we are going in June for a week, and we are bringing Noah with us (it actually cost more for Noah to go than it did for both me and Nathan). That's how Ryanair gets you. Their tickets are really cheap but it costs an arm and a leg for anything extra. Our tickets were like 25 euro a piece and one bag for Noah cost 40 euro, not to mention it was 20 euro for him to go and another 20 euro for us to bring his car seat. Oh well, I'm just happy we are going. However, I am still in a foul mood, as I'm sure you can understand.
So Monday I went in for my breast consultation. It went great. We figured out how many cc's I'm going to get and we set a date for the surgery. :) June 20th. I cannot tell you how excited I am for this. Since I can remember I've been wanting this. I think I'll feel so much better about myself. It is one of the only things I'm self conscious about. There are a few down falls though. I won't be able to lift Noah for 3 weeks after and I have to wear a sports bra for 6 months. Also, I won't be able to get pregnant for up to 8 weeks. The last isn't so bad but we were going to start trying again in July-ish time frame. September isn't bad, that'll put them almost two years apart.
Noah is just non stop growing. In some ways I love how big and independent he is, but in others, I hate it. I remember the first time I held him, that first night with him. I didn't sleep the whole night because I was so worried something would happen and I wouldn't wake up. I remember when we brought him home from the hospital and how completely exhausted I was. I remember the first whole day he spent awake. Oh man, soon he's going to be crawling and walking and be all over the place. Lately we've been testing solid foods. I gave him noodles the other day. He loved them and did so well. He loves anything he can pick up and eat on his own. I started to tear up when we were leaving him today. I have never left him over night with anyone besides my mom.. and we were going to be leaving him for 3 nights. I'm so glad we decided to bring him with us next time!

I love this, it makes me smile.

You Know You're A Military Spouse When..

1. You've moved at least once every three years.

2. You have enough Motrin in your house to supply a small nation. (Hahahaha…. Motrin is the medicinal equivalent of duct tape! Just ask any Military doctor!)

3. You know a lot of people from all over the world….literally!

4. You’ve lived all over the world.

5. Sad but true, you're used to losing touch with friends.

6. You refer to your friendships as “short-term relationships,” but we all know that they last a lifetime!

7. You don't flinch when going over tire shredders with your car on a daily basis.

8. You had to have a ration card to buy gas, coffee or alcohol.

9. You have been referred to on many occasions as “just the wife.” You’ve also perfected the “just the wife glare” that causes anyone who uses that term to backpedal rapidly.

10. You know the difference between an “airport” and a “terminal” and a “hospital” and a “clinic.”

11. You’ve engaged in at least one instance of all out warfare with Tricare.

12. You get mad when AAFES advertise their stuff like there's another place to buy it from.

13. You know that goodbye never gets easier.

14. You have moved your entire household…kids, pets, households goods…on your own while your husband is deployed/TDY/training.

15. You are fluent in acronyms….DFAS, TDY, MP, SF, DEROS, PCS, ETS, CC, VOQ, PQP, AEF, OPSEC, DSN, DENIF,OPR, EPR, SOS, ACSC, NCOIC, ATEC, AMC, IFE, FUBAR, CinC, ADP....and on and on…

16. You talk about your weekend trip to Tokyo or Paris the way other people talk about their weekend trip to the beach.

17. You know what your DEROS is.

18. You know what it feels like to put your tears last and the needs of your spouse and family first.

19. You have at least one room full of boxes that you just got too damn lazy to unpack.

20. You can say “hello,” “goodbye,” “thank you,” “please,” and “where is the bathroom” in five different languages.

21. You’ve referred to a TLF as “home”

22. You know the difference between BDUs and ACUs.

23. The Sandbox is not what your kids play in out back.

24. You can live…and function…in a house with no air conditioner.

25. You simultaneously love and hate AAFES…..not that you have much of a choice. The hate generally emerges when you wait in line 20+ minutes to pay an extra 16.5 cents per gallon for gas.

26. You have your husband’s social security number memorized, but have to look up your own.

27. You freeze when someone asks for your social security number. Once you recover from the shock, you ask them at least four times if they are REALLY SURE that they want YOUR social!

28. You know to stop and stand at attention when hearing the national anthem/Taps/Retreat even though you're standing in the middle of the commissary parking lot with ice cream and it is 95 degrees out.

29. You know to carry a coin with you at all times…..heck, you know what it means to get “coined!”

30. You have forgotten what a “normal” commercial looks like and can’t remember the last time you’ve seen a movie preview!

31. All your furniture has multiple colors of moving stickers on it. (Ha Ha and you get emotional thinking of which move correlates to which sticker.)

32. Some of your boxes of stuff get shipped twice because you didn't unpack it before you moved again.

33. You're ecstatic when you go somewhere off base and can park super close to the building because there are no reserved parking lots other than handicap.

34. Lifestyles only come in two options: military or civilian.

35. You can't sleep as well if you don't hear airplanes.

36. When you here explosions go off, you just ignore them.

37. You've lived in the middle of nowhere.

38. You walk into the BX or Commissary and see at least 10 people you know from school, work, etc. and at least 20 others you know by sight.

39. You have ever stayed up until 5 a.m. the night before your husband home, frantically cleaning the house so it looks like you’ve been maintaining it the entire time they were gone…despite knowing that within 10 seconds of him walking in the door, the house will look even worse than before!

40. You can tell the difference between and F-15, F-16, A-10, F-18, F-22, etc. as well as the difference between a KC-10, KC-135, C-17, C-5, C-130 etc. Sometimes you can even identify them by sound, which is just scary.

41. You have ever moved to a new base and had your husband deploy a week later.

42. You are able to start over, anywhere at any time in a place where you don’t know anyone.

43. You have ever had to stifle the urge to roll your eyes and snicker aloud when you hear a military leader talk about “family first.”

44. You have ever had to explain to your non-military friends what it means to live on the economy

45. You have a Home of Record that may be thousands of miles away from your current home.

46. You don’t think anything of it when driving by 4+ men holding machine guns.

47. You know people by their last names first…..and maybe eventually learn their first names!

48. You say things like “back in the States” and “State-side”

49. You’ve been called “ma’am” by people twice your age.

50. Your spouse has been gone for more than half your marriage.

51. The thought of not having an ID card sends you into a full-fledged panic attack!

52. You live on your own and by yourself more after you're married than before you were married.

53. You know that a 2 month separation IS short, no matter what your civilian friends say.

54. You don't bat an eyelash at 22:45 and 0300 duty times.

55. You have been asked to stop talking in acronyms and translate it all to English.

56. You've done more oil changes than your spouse, and even when your husband is home the mechanic asks to speak with you.

57. Someone with a machine gun asks to see your ID before you enter the grocery store (or as the case is over here, the hospital)!

58. You would rather sell your soul than go to the commissary on paydays!

59. If the thought of another deployment makes you cringe….but you know you will have to suck it up and that you will be okay because you always are.

60. If you've spent almost all the holidays in any given year without your spouse.

61. You remember milestones by duty stations

62. You pay $35 to have a baby

63. You tell people that ask that he's 'only' been gone a month.

64. You want to roll your eyes (and sometimes you do!) when you hear someone complain that they "haven't seen my boyfriend/girlfriend or hubby/wife in a couple days!" (AMEN!!!)

65. Your neighbors and sometimes co-workers know you well but have never seen your spouse.

66. The radiator blows up on the car, the toilet overflows somebody gets sick, and the washing machine dies within 12 hours of your spouse leaving for yet another TDY/deployment

67. You aren’t surprised when you get four days’ notice for a four-month deployment and 24 hours for a three week TDY.

68. You have spent consecutive wedding anniversaries apart.

69. You tell the mover the correct way to pack moving boxes.

70. You know what “Last four?” means.

71. You know that the military breeds two things: alcoholism and children.

72. You know that only other military spouses will understand this.

73. You laughed hysterically and nodded the entire time you were reading this.

74. You know that “dependent” means anything but!!!

Bazaar

This will be a quick one because I'm running on less sleep than I normally get. When I am tired I am also cranky. I almost had to drink Red Bull today to keep me awake, and I NEVER drink energy drinks. We'll see how tomorrow pans out, I'm going to go to bed soon and we don't have to wake up quite as early.
Anyways, all this week we've been working like crazy to finish up all the last minute projects we had. Last night, we did all the baking we were going to do. Lauren and Ashley were here until almost one and then we had to wake up early to go set up our booth. It was all pretty easy, I tried to make it as pretty as I could.
We actually did pretty well for it being our first and slowest day. It picked up a lot after everyone got off work so I can only imagine how tomorrow and Sunday will be. I'm happy with that. It was also probably the hardest day because we had Noah and Aiden with us. We brought some extra fabrics and a sewing machine to add more things but it was so hard with two little rugrats. I got to see a lot of people I knew, but then again, I'm used to that. I was tagged in a facebook note the other day about military wives.
Tomorrow me and Lauren are going to take turns walking around the rest of the Bazaar. I already spotted a few things I'd like to add to our house. :)
We took our car into the shop this week. Originally, the mechanic thought it would end up being totaled but we got an email yesterday saying that it'd just be a lot to fix it. Thank goodness! I hate car shopping.
We bought a new tv this week also. 58 inch. There is really no need for a tv this big but Nathan just had to have it. It's actually really nice and definitely better than our half 3D not by choice tv. :)
Noah rolled from back to front for the first time today. He's been rolling front to back for awhile now but just never mastered the other. I love small mile stones. I'm not sure if or when he'll crawl but I imagine he'll be walking pretty quick. He loves his walker. Also, this gums are unusally white recently so I'm wondering if that means a tooth is in our near future. I love him so much!
Okay going to bed now because it's getting hard to think.

Weight

Oh yea, last Friday I got the 24 hour bug and not only was I super sick but I couldn't eat anything either. My misfortune ended up being an okay thing, I lost 2 lbs. I am officially 107. Still a few lbs left but it's better than nothing.

Busy, Busy. Boobs.

As it turns out, I won't be writing a long one this week. It's late and I'm exhausted from today. The Bazaar is Friday, Saturday, Sunday and we still have to finish everything up. Busy, busy, busy. Story of my life.
One week and 3 days until our Sardinia trip. I get more and more excited with every passing second. Finally, relaxation time. And Alyssa bought here ticket, yay.
Oh yea, next Monday I have my breast consultation. If it weren't for our trip I'd be getting it done Tuesday. But Monday I'll know for sure when the big day is. I can't tell you how long I've waited for this.
That's it until next week. Wish me luck this weekend!

Happy Easter

HAPPY EASTER!
I know it's been awhile. I have so much going on and so little time. Plus the internet has been boring me a lot lately. Maybe I'll find time tomorrow.

Day Six

Day 6. A Picture Of A Person You'd Love To Trade Places With For a Day.

Chelsea Handler. Not only is she hilarious but she's pretty as well. I like how blunt and honest she is. I wish I could be more open with my feelings toward people or certain events. She is also very witty. I love her books, I've read all of them. Her job seems really fun as well. I just imagined I'd have a great time as her.

Day Five

Day 5. A Picture Of Your Favorite Memory.

I have so many wonderful memories, I couldn't choose one so I narrowed it down to two.

This is me and my best friend Jackie in a truck stop bathroom. The picture is from one of our road trips to Wichita Falls, Texas. My brother-in-law was doing his tech school there and my sister didn't want to go visit him by herself so we went with her. It was right after I moved back to New Mexico from Alaska so I hadn't seen Jackie or my sister in a few months. It was so much fun going on a road trip with them. I can't remember doing anything too exciting but just being around my two favorite girls was a blast. We ate lots of junk food and sang songs at the top of our lungs. While we were there we walked around the base, went to the movies, and bowling. We stayed up pretty much all night talking. My sister moved shortly after that and me and Jackie got jobs and boyfriends. Everything slowly changed. But this weekend was great!

Me and Nathan at the Hard Rock in Amsterdam. This was the last trip me and Nathan took by ourselves. It was right before I found out I was pregnant. We got there Saturday afternoon and it took forever to find our hotel. We took a nap and by the time we woke up it was late so we ended up just going to Hard Rock that night. That is our tradition, by the way. We eat at Hard Rock every place we go.. if they have one that is. Sunday we got up and went to the Heiniken brewery, then to a couple of random museums, the Anne Frank house, and lastly to visit the Red Light District. I enjoy spending time with Nathan alone. We always have so much fun and he makes every day unforgetable.

Day Four

Day 4. A Picture Of Your Night.

This was supposed to be yesterday and I fulled intended to take a picture but Nathan has my camera with him and so I have his with no memory card. I went to take a picture and nothing, so instead I'll just explain it to you.

At about 5 I started getting a horrible headache to the point that I couldn't even walk so my mom picked up Noah and I got to sleep a bit. I slept until 8 then headed over to my parents house. I put Noah to sleep and me and my mom made our Dining-In floors. I've got the Hall and my mom has the Conservatory. We are pretty much finished with the floors, now we just have to make furniture to go in them. Then we ate pizza and watched some t.v. before I came home and went to bed. Not a very exciting night, but it beats sitting alone at home. :)
I also got to talk to Nathan a little bit.

Nathans got a phone!

I got to talk to Nathan yesterday. FINALLY! I hadn't talked to him since Sunday, I know it's not that long to most people but when you spend everyday with someone and then all of a sudden they are gone and you don't talk to them for two days.. it's pretty rough. I felt like I couldn't breath all of yesterday morning. I really need to tell my body to stop being so dramatic. I haven't had much of an appetite either. Good news is maybe I'll lose the last 10 lbs of pregnancy weight.... I hate being like this. I have never been like this over a guy. I know I need to be better for the sake of sanity.
I found out some more details about where he is and how long he'll be gone and those sorts of things. Honestly, it was just nice to see him (on skype). He ended up getting a new sim card for his phone so I can call him if I need him. That puts me at ease, knowing that if something were to happen I could get ahold of him. We talked again before I went to bed which helped me get to sleep.
Nathan's mom emailed me yesterday morning to see if I was okay. It's really nice knowing that I have so many wonderful people in my life to make sure we're doing okay and getting along fine. I'm so glad my mom is here as well. And since my dad left for Afghanistan last week, we are in the same boat. I had lunch with my friend Alyssa yesterday. Her boyfriend is with Nathan. We are going to lunch again today with our friend Kristin. Like I said, I'm so happy to have people here for us.
I called Nathan's parents after he gave me his new number. They are great. I really lucked out in the in-law department. Which reminds me, Jessica's due date was yesterday. Rebecca told me she'd call once their baby is there. :) Noah will soon have a little baby cousin to play with. Hopefully, when we go back this summer, Sheldon and Jessica and baby Patience will be able to be there as well. I want to meet her and hold her. Same with Audrey! I've been wanting to play with her for months now.
Last night, all of the CE Dining-In spouses got together in our costumes to take pictures. I am Professor Plum. I thought my outfit looked pretty good. No ones looked better than Katrina's though. She's Mr. Green. I can't even explain it. I'll post pictures after the Dining-In. Less than two weeks. I need to find Noah a babysitter now that Nathan's gone.

Day Three

Day 3. Picture Of The Cast From Your Favorite Show.

Flight of the Conchords.
Nathan got me started watching this in 2008, right after we started dating. We'd sit in his dorm room and watch Season 1. We bought Season 2 right after it came out. They are just so funny and stupid. We have the album and I listen to it when I need a good laugh. My favorite is Leggy Blonde.

Day Two

Day 2. A Picture Of You And Someone You've Been Close With For Awhile.

Not the greatest picture of us but all my pictures are on Nathan's computer, which is with him.
Anyways, this is my best friend Andrea. This picture was when she came to visit me last summer. We met in 2008 when I lived in England with my ex. She was my next door neighbor and she helped me get through all the stuff I was dealing with at the time. I love her and her husband and that little baby growing inside her!

Day One

Our friend Megan told me I should do this 30 Day Photo Challenge on my blog to help me get used to posting everyday. I've seen this going around facebook and it sparked an interest but I think it'll be better for me to do it here. So here it goes.

Day 1. A Picture Of Yourself With 10 Facts.

1. My husband is the only guy I've ever loved more than myself, that's how I knew we would be together forever.
2. I brush my teeth with warm water because I feel like it gets them cleaner.
3. I base Noah's progression on my friends babies.
4. I really miss my sister and my best friend Jackie. I get tired of talking to people who don't really care.
5. I enjoy thinking up new foods to make but I make taco's atleast once a week.
6. Before I was pregnant I weighed 97 lbs. I wish I could get back down to that but 10 lbs just won't drop.
7. I shop when I'm bored. I get bored a lot.
8. I have been to 15 countries and over half the United States. I plan on raising that number. Traveling is my favorite pass time.
9. I shave my legs every day because I hate the feeling of hair rubbing against my pants.
10. I was in alcohol counseling before I was even old enough to drink. I am glad that I don't drink anymore but I sometimes crave alcohol and cigarettes.

Nathan's gone

This weekend has been a pretty bad one.
I can't say everything on here for now, but Nathan is going to be gone for a few months. I hate it. We found out Friday night. It's been a mind game. On and off over and over again. I've definitely shed a lot of tears. It's hard not having my other half with me. I'm not as independent as I'd like to be. I don't like knowing that I'll have to take care of everything while he's gone. It makes me nervous. I don't like to take charge of things because I'm always worried I'm going to screw things up. It's also hard not knowing where you husband is going, when he'll be back, when the next time you can talk to him is. I'm so worried right now. I know I need to sleep tonight (for the sake of being sane while taking care of Noah) but I don't see that happening. I have been running around all day long, cleaning, cooking, online shopping, watching movies, anything I can do to keep me busy. I'm already going crazy. I know people go through this all the time, it just sucks. SUCKS!
Also, my dad left on Thursday for Afghanistan. I have no idea how I am going to handle all the car care things we need to do with Nathan's VW bus and my car.
My friend Alex told me I should plan as many fun projects as I can. Sounds good. I already made a list of the things I want to do to the house.
I also plan on going to California for a few weeks and Texas for a few weeks. We were going to go back this summer anyways so I might as well go while I need support. I want everyone to meet Noah. I enjoy trips to America too.
And I still plan on going to on our vacation to Italy. My mom is trying to get my sister to come here so she can join us. I'd love that. I love my mom and sister so much, they help me get through a lot. They've been there through every break up and everytime I've been jobless and poor. :) Like I said, I'm not good at being independent.

On a different note, tomorrow I'm having a coffee date with some of my favorite girls in Germany. I'm glad that I have a great support system. They are all so much fun.
Next weekend is the shop morale party. We are doing an Irish theme.

Another Five Years

Oh yea, Nathan reenlisted last Monday. Five more years in the Air Force, maybe more. I'm excited to find out where we'll be going next and for the future in general. Time is just flying by.
He also sewed on his Senior Airman stripes the same day. The tradition is when you sew on a new stripe, all the people in your shop that out rank you get to punch you on your stripes. Nathan said they made a line in his shop. You should see his arms. Even now the bruises are ridiculous and disgusting. They got him good!

Vacation time

Until recently, these next few months have weighed heavy on my mind. I really felt defeated and like I wouldn't have any time. Finally, I've gotten ahold of my life again. I'm not quite sure how it happened but I'm just not stressed out about the things I was before. I just feel more peace all of a sudden. Maybe it was my constant prayers to help me get through all of this. I mean, I do like to be busy, as they say idle hands are the devils tools, but sometimes it's nice to have no worries. To just sit and relax.

So I don't know how to fix that ^.


Anyways, what's been happening?
Last week wasn't too eventful. Thursday I did have lunch with some wonderful ladies. We all got together and discussed the next shop moral dinner. It's in two weeks and we put an Irish theme to it. I also finally bought the stuff I need for my Dining-In room. I have the hall and it should be pretty easy considering I only have to make the floor and a table. Friday, we went to my parents for dinner and while they watched Noah, me and Nathan went to see "Season of the Witch". It was okay. Not what I was expecting but still, a good night out. Then we stayed up until 1 planning on next vacation which I'll get into later.
Saturday, we helped clean the church. The Rameriz's were there also so we got it done in about an hour. Then we went to Trier to walk around and just hang out. It's been months since we've been there so it was fun. Trier is one of our favorite cities. It's where we had our very first date and where Nathan proposed. We were originally supposed to go with some of our friends but they ended up going earlier and left before we got there. It was nice getting to spend time with Nathan. I feel like recently we haven't seen each other at all. And we definitely haven't had time to relax a bit together. After we got tired of walking around we went and had dinner with some friends and sat around talking. Yesterday, we ofcourse went to church and spent some time together. I went for a walk, it was so beautiful outside. Sunday really is my favorite day.


So our next vacation. We are planning a trip in May to Sardinia, Italy. It's an island off the coast. We looked at pictures and it's got a Spanish feel and the beach looks amazing. I'm so excited. Our friends, the Staffords, are going with us. They have snorkeling, scuba diving, and all sorts of interesting activities for us to do. It'll be nice enough to sit on the beach in a bathing suit. That what we plan on doing the majority of the trip. We are going for 3 nights and found amazing deals. The tickets are only 6 euros a person, one way. You really can't beat that. In the summer, me and Nathan are also planning on Barcelona. We were worried that we wouldn't have time to get everything in that we want to see before we leave, but our extention just got approved so we'll be here until March 2013 (unless we get accepted into the commissioning program). We have plenty of time left, and we've already done so much traveling. I love Europe for that reason. I really don't understand why people think vacationing in Europe is so expensive. If you come during the non-tourist season then plane tickets are ridiculously cheap and if you know what you are doing, you can get around for almost nothing. I really get annoyed with people who live here and don't want to do anything but sit in their house and then all they do is complain about how much they hate Germany. Or people use money and their kids as an excuse. Ugh. I could go on for days about people like that.


Noah is too big. :)
The other day he got up on his hands and knees (in the crawling position). My heart stopped beating for a minute, I swear. I was just waiting for him to start moving. He ended up just plopping back down but I think he's going to begin crawling in the next few months. I swear he thinks he's older than he really is. I know I probably sound redundant but he really is so much fun. He makes me laugh all the time. Even if I'm in a bad mood, he somehow makes me smile. Lately, he's been doing this thing where he fake coughs or fake cries. It's hiliarious! He also sits up by himself now. He's the greatest!
Nathan took his final last week. He starts more classes next week. I'm debating signing up for a class or two as well. My mom already agreed to watch Noah, it's just the money that I'm worried about at this time. Especially since there are rumors going around that the military might not get paid for the month of April. Yikes! Good thing we have food storage!!!

It's Sad

Maybe you've read about it, maybe you haven't.
Wednesday afternoon, two US Airman were shot and killed at the Frankfurt International Airport in Frankfurt, Germany. Two others were seriously hurt and are in critical condition. The man who shot these people was a young man from Kosivo. There is talk that it was a terrorist attack. The people who were shot at were from both RAF Lakenheath in England, and Ramstein AB here in Germany. I've been thinking about this over and over and over again since I heard the news on Wednesday night. It just really hit hard, I think mostly because not only do I know people from both bases, but it's so close to home. We are 2 1/2 hours away from Frankfurt. Anytime we travel to/from the states, it's through that airport. We've had multiple friends and family fly there. I cannot tell you how many times me and Nathan have been there. And Nathan is always traveling there to pick people from his shop up. I even know a friend who went there that same day. It could have been anyone I know. It could have been Nathan. It could have even been me. My heart is really aching for those families. I can't tell you how many times this has crossed my mind in these past few days.
I think about these articles I've been reading that say that our service members are here ready to drop everything at a moments notice to go fight this war against terrorism. I'm not going to lie, it's not always like that. Maybe for the Army or Marines, or some other branch of the military, I can't really speak for them since I don't know that life style. But here, especially in our house or with people I know, we just live our normal daily life. I don't constantly worry about if someone is going to drop bombs on our base. I don't sit around with women talking about the next time our husbands get deployed. We talk about how things are different here than in the states or the new things our kids are doing. I believe, for the most part, we live like any other American family. Sure we move around and our family members get deployed.. but that's not apart of our day to day life. I can't say that I've ever worried about Nathan when he has gone to the Frankfurt Airport (we also try to blend in as much as possible.. Nathan never wears his uniform off base). So when I hear that some of our own (meaning other Airman) have been attacked, let alone in the country we live in, it is still very shocking. I think the media plays it out to be like we just expect our husbands to drop dead at a moments notice. No.. No.. it hits us the same way it would hit any American. It's scary and heartbreaking no matter who you are.
One of my friends posted on Facebook today that it's disgusting that Lindsey Lohan will be in the news for days and days and days and weeks and months for stealing a necklace in February and two US Military members get killed TWO DAYS AGO and you have to literally search it out on CNN.com. Our country is getting ridiculous. I started bawling the other night because I was thinking about how I have to raise my child in a world like this. People care more about their entertainment than they do about real news, about what's really going on in the world. Maybe people just think that if it's not right in front of them, then it's not happening. People are so oblivious.
And don't even get me started on that Baptist church that feels the need to picket people's funerals. I want to punch everyone of them in their face. I know, I'm supposed to be the bigger person and just hope that one day they'll recognize their actions and want to change, but seriously?! I just cannot people are actually like this. I guess that's what I get for being an optimist.

Anyways, Noah is napping right now and he's got a little smile under his pacifier. It's adorable. I love this kid too much. I can honestly say that having him in my life has filled a hole I've had for years. I know you'll think I'm crazy for saying this but I can't wait to have more.
Oh yea, Nathan's pretty great too. :)

Last weekend and horrible stories

The Shop Morale Party went really well on Friday night. So many people showed up. When we first planned it, none of us thought it would be such a hit. Turns out, it was. The Smith's house was completely packed with people. Nathan, Noah, and I showed up about 45 mintutes late (blame it on Nathan) and it took us a good 5 minutes to get to the kitchen which was not even 10 yards away. When you walk into their house it's a long hallway with two rooms off the side (living room and game room) and then you'll hit the stairs and the kitchen on one side and the bathroom on the other. Both the living room and game room were full of people, so people were overflowing into the hallway. The kitchen was also full, people were sitting on the stairs, and there were people out back on the patio as well. Yeah, it was a big success. It was a pot luck and so everyone brought yummy food. I was so stuffed. We stayed for a couple of hours and by about 9 pm things were pretty much dying down. A lot of people had left so we could walk more freely. It was great getting to spend some time with everyone. There was absolutely no drama the entire night which made things even better. I'm really excited for the next one. And another girl even offered to help plan the next one. Katrina is awesome for doing the majority of this one. Unfortunately, Noah didn't go to sleep until like 11:30. It was crazy. I think he was still hyped up from being around so many people for so long.

Saturday night, I went to my mom's Lemongrass Spa Party. I showed up late (again, I'm horrible) because I thought it was at 5 pm. Nope, it was 3. They had already done the hand stuff so I walked in and got to start soaking my feet. We did some cool body scrub things for our feet and they were feeling amazing by the end. To top it off, my mom gave us all foot massages. It was wonderful. It was really nice to get out of the house. I love staying at home with Noah but I need my break from time to time. Especially, since Nathan has been taking this classes on Tuesday and Thursday nights. I don't get a break on those nights.
After the party me, Jessie, Regina, Linda, and my mom sat around gabbing for a few hours. Jessie just got back from the states so it was nice to see her again. I am going to start running with her and Linda to get this last 10 lbs off. Jessie gave me some good eating tips as well. I really enjoy being around older (not old) people. I feel like I click better for some reason. I guess I just get tired of talking about "Teen Mom" and how hot Gerald Butler is. I know, not everyone is like that, but I just feel so much more comfortable around ladies that are a few years older than me. I can, for the most part, always remember being that way.
I went and picked up a new toy for Noah. It's a little horse jumperoo. It sings songs and makes horse/galluping noises and it has a few little toys attached to play with. That kid loves to bounce. It's so fun watching him get into it. I love this age.
Then, my parents took us out for dinner at J.R. Rockers/Pizza Hut. I love my parents so much. We are blessed to have them here with us. They make things so much easier.

Sunday was another day of church ofcourse. Afterwards, Lauren came over to do more blanket sewing. At first we just couldn't get motivated. Then it reached about 8 pm and we were on a roll. We finished a few more and pinned a couple extra. We also made our first bib. Quite interesting. I honestly wasn't feeling too great by the end of the night but that's a whole other story that I won't get into on here for personal reasons.

Yesterday, Noah went to my parents house for a few hours so me and Nathan could get some things done. It was really weird not having him in tow, but we got more done than we would have if he would of tagged along. We went to the Library first so Nathan could get his study guides for his next clep test. He's doing so good on those and he passed his Human Resources one yesterday. Now he's got a Public Speaking one that he's studying for. Three more cleps and he'll be done with his CCAF. And then it's on to a few more face to face classes and by next January he can put in his package to get commissioned. I'm really anxious, excited, nervous about it. We just want it so bad. It would be such a great thing for our family, especially if we want to have as many babies as we are planning. Nathan was looking into a school in Southern California to attend before "officer tech school".
So afterwards we went to the BX just to look around and get some things we were needing. I got Jessica's baby shower gift. Then we went to Hela to get some paint. Nathan tried to get another gold fish but it was taking too long and we had other things to do. After all of the shopping, we went and got a bed, well the frame part. We already have the mattress and recently we decided we actually wanted a headboard. :)
We found one on spangyardsales.com for a decent price so we went ahead and picked it up. It's huge and we had to put the headboard part on top of our car to get it home. Since it was on top, we used rope to tie it up there.. through the windows.. I had to climb out the window to open the trunk door so Nathan could get out. We had fun. And I am really excited about it. We are going to paint it black, along with a dresser we are getting tomorrow, to match our room. One day we will have our room complete. I'm just not so good at decorating the entire house all at once. I work one room at a time.

Today, I had lunch with Katrina, Russ, my mom, dad, and Nathan. And Noah as well. Actually, he sat in the big boy high chair, I was impressed. Then Katrina and I went to the commissary where Noah sat in the shopping cart for the first time. He did so well, sat straight up the whole time. Good, that means I don't have to lug his heavy carseat around with me anymore. While we were in the commissary my eye started going crazy. I would get sudden, sharp pains in it. Then my eye would leak a hundred gallons of water from it. It was really weird but I didn't think much of it. As we were driving home the dang thing did it again and I really had a hard time seeing the road. Luckily, we only live 2 minutes away so it wasn't too bad. I took out my contacts and it felt much better. I'm guessing something must have gotten onto my contact that was not meant for eyes. I've had ripped/torn contact lenses and that hurts, but this was a different, more horrible kind of pain. I wish I could explain it better. Needless to say, I threw those out. Later in the day, I went with my mom to get a skirt and jacket himmed that I'll be wearing to the Spouses Dining In in April. I'm excited. We all dress in crazy outfits. I'm Professor Plum from Clue. I'm really excited to see how everything turns out. Tomorrow, we are going to build our mock clue house for the table centerpiece. Things are coming along nicely. Lots of drama between many of the wives though.

I read a blog earlier about this lady who recently (two weeks ago) lost her baby to something they are not certain about. Their daughter was four months old. Noah's age. It talked about how she passed and how she has been feeling having to deal with the funeral and ofcourse the loss of her child. I cried as I read it. A friend of mine posted it on facebook and she talked about how she cried, I opened it in another tab and avoided reading it for about an hour but then decided that I would. I knew how I'd feel if I read it but it just kept yelling out for me to pull it up. I just cannot imagine going through that. It makes me nervous to ever leave Noah with anyone but family, but also to leave him in his room at night. Especially, since we have a really crappy monitor. I think tomorrow I'm going to look into the video monitors. There is never a better time to take extra precaution! Even thinking about it makes me want to cry again. I hope I don't have nightmares. A few years ago I read a story about some mean kids who kidnapped a 3 year old and did unimaginable things to him and it was in the back of my mind for weeks. Then last year, my sister told me a story of this lady who drowned her 4 kids one by one. More nightmares. Tonight I read a story about a mom who shot her two kids because they were "talking back". And then I read this story. I really feel for all these families. It makes me sick to think of what this world is coming to. It makes me even more sick that people support the people who do disgusting things. I don't care if I'm alone when I say that if you hurt a child in a serious way, you should have the death penalty.

Okay, this blog is way too long and I'm getting a little deep in my emotions so I'm going to end with a good night and see you in my next post.

weekends, passports, and shots

One day I'm going to be super good at this. Who knows when, but one day it will happen.
So anyways, lets see what's been happening.
Noah is so cute, that not new though. He sticks out his tongue when you stick out yours. He makes crazy noises with his mouth. Lately, he's been grabbing for EVERYTHING. Yesterday we were in the passport office and he was trying to grab all the papers. It was very adorable ofcourse BUT I realized that soon I'm going to have a little terror running around. I'm looking forward to it haha. I have to entertain him a lot more. It's not too bad though. He's a very calm, relaxed baby, which I enjoy. I worry about our next children and how they will be. Noah spoils me. So yea, we went to do his passport yesterday. You'd be amazed at how much you have to do for a baby passport. We've had two different appointments before this one and never had all the things we needed. So yesterday we got it all done. I'm excited to bring him back to the states and let everyone see him. Today, I took him to get his 4 month shots. I realize I'm a tad late but we had his 2 month shots late and they want to make sure there is enough time in between. So yea, he did really well. Much better than last time! I almost cried though when they did the first one and he was screaming. It was so sad. I really wanted Nathan to go but he couldn't get off work. Oh well, it's over and done with and he did really well. He's been happy all day, as usual.

I hate my computer. That's just a side note.

Tomorrow, we are going to a "shop morale party". It's for Nathan's shop. It should be fun. We are all making food from "home". Nathan's mom sent me a few recipes and I have a few but I just can't decide on what is "home" for us. But I am excited to go hang out with people. I really like the people in his shop.. most of the time. Sometimes it's kind of dramatic. You know how women are. But we did get lucky, that's for sure. Saturday, my mom is having a Lemongrass Spa party. I'm VERY excited about that. At the end my mom is giving us all hand massages. I personally love love love massages of any sort. It'll be nice to relax a little bit. Lately I've just been really "blah". I don't know what it is. It's not a sad feeling, it's just I cannot get motivated for some reason. And I think this move is finally getting to me as well. I just am ready to be out of these boxes completely and on with our life. I want to know where all my stuff is at all times. I did finally unpack my closets. I was seriously putting it off because I knew it would take forever. I was right, it took two hours. It didn't even take that long to unpack our kitchen. Okay, well maybe it did. And I ended up having to put all of my dress shoes in the basement closet because they wouldn't fit in my closet anymore. I swear, I go through my clothes every 3-4 months, and I actually get rid of quite a few. Infact, I just did it in Dec and I have my sister like 4 or 5 dresses.. and I sent a bunch of shirts to the airmens attack. I am seriously a shop-a-holic! I need to fix that.
So, off track. Yes, I am excited for Saturday. Sunday after church my friend Lauren is going to come over and we are going to sew some more blankets. She was over Saturday, Sunday-Monday of last weekend. We got a lot done. I'm really happy about that. The Bazaar is the end of April so we need to finish everything. We also ordered a bunch more fabric. I'm really happy with how my blankets turned out. I did my very first one (alone) on Sunday. I messed up a few times but it definitely turned out better than I had hoped. I told Lauren if it doesn't sell, I'm going to keep it for when we have a girl. :) We are also making, burp cloths, baby first aid kits, hooded towels, and some treats. I'm sure we will do well!

I know more has happened I'm just really tired and Nathan already went to bed.
Wow weird, I keep seeing a standing bear out of the corner of my eye. That right there should tell you how tired I am. And once again, I'm going to stay I hate my computer. It had a virus a couple months ago and now everytime I type, it will stay on track for awhile and then randomly it'll start typing two rows up. No joke, it does this all the freaking time. I'm so tired of it. We need to get a desktop!!!