Nathan's gone :(

Biggest news, and most noteworthy, is that Nathan left yesterday. I have never in my life been so affected (?.. for lack of a better word) by a change. Even when I had Noah. There were major changes and a lot to get used to but I wouldn't say that is shook me too much. Last night was the worst! I put Noah to bed at 7 pm and found myself with nothing to do. I was going out of my mind from boredom and loneliness. I felt like my head had just been cut off. It's weird for me to feel that way. I love change, embrace it even. Leading up to Nathan leaving, I felt fine. I knew he was going to leave and I knew I would miss him, I just didn't realize how much.
Luckily, I consider myself a strong person. I am usually great and holding it together. I'm not a fan of people feeling sorry for me. Today, I am feeling much better. I was able to somewhat keep myself busy. It helped that I got to skype with Nathan for a little bit. I'm so thankful for the internet during this time!

So moving on. Today was the very first time I felt baby number 2 kick/move around. I have to admit, I missed that the most. Even when Noah would pound my insides at 2 am, I always enjoyed it. I get paranoid sometimes that something is wrong with the baby, it's reassuring to feel it kick. We hopefully get to find out the sex on the 30th. I will be 17 weeks. I know I'll be happy either way, I just want to know. I am too impatient. I need to start shopping for this little one. I have surprised myself by not buying anything for it yet. Not one thing. I can remember buying a little gender neutral robe and socks the week after I found out I was pregnant with Noah.

I am excited about visiting the states. It has been a year and a half since I was last there. I enjoy living in Germany, I love the traveling, and there are many many things that I know I will miss (Christmas markets). I do, however, miss the United States quite terribly. I have a mental list of everything I need to do. It mostly included places I need to eat. Yes, yes, I am a cow. Just the other day I was talking with a friend about this food we used to always eat, it's called musabi and it's Hawaiian. I have been researching Hawaiian restaurants in Sacramento, Tuscan, and Abilene. The best one I could find is in California. I'm going to convince Dawn to go with me (Dawn, if you are reading this, you will be coming to this place with me!!!!! And it's in Roseville so it's a not too far away from either of us). I am also excited to see my new little baby "nephew" Carter. My best friend had him a month ago. We are going to spend a week with him in between California and Texas.
There will be a lot of firsts here. So many people in our familes haven't seen Noah yet. It'll be the first time seeing Jessica and Sheldon after Patience passed away. There are 3 new Kay babies that we haven't met yet. :)

Saturday is our Christmas party. I will be happy to have that over with. I enjoy helping to plan these events but since this was the wrong time to help out! I am excited to get dressed up and spend time with friends! My friend Liz is going to be my date (her husband is deployed as well). Plus, I can't really say that I'd willingly turn down a free (good) meal! :)

Okay, I'm boring myself now. It's time to stop.