There is so much going on in my head but for some reason I cannot sort everything out. I am starting to believe it's this pregnancy, but it could also be how busy life has been these last few months.
This pregnancy has been a little different than my pregnancy with Noah. I know, every pregnancy is different. I just mean I feel different about it. Don't get me wrong, I love knowing I have another baby growing inside me, I guess I'm just not as attached to this him or her yet. I keep trying to remember back to my first trimester with Noah. I remember being terribly sick and miserable (which I'm not so much with this one) but I can't really remember how I felt. I know it could be a lot of things. I have Noah for one. He always keeps me on my toes. It could be that I am so busy with him that I don't really pay close attention to the fact that I am pregnant. It could also be that since Nathan will be leaving in a couple weeks I've been preoccupied with that. It could even be that since I am not really showing and I can't feel it moving around, it hasn't completely sunk in. I'm not sure. I just know that I feel bad about it. One thing I noticed early on was my inability to fall asleep quickly. That has been my biggest problem. I am exhausted and I get bad headaches but no matter what I do it takes about an hour for my brain to shut off.
My little Noah bug has been something else lately. Ever since he started walking my day has been all about chasing him around. He is an explorer, that is for sure. He loves to get into the cabinets and pull all our pots and pans out. I finally gave him his own cabinet with bowls I never use, lids, and spatulas. Everyday he gets the spatulas out and carries them around with him. It is really cute. I have been trying not to baby proof my house. I read in a parenting magazine that if you just teach them what they cannot touch rather than just blocking things off, they have a better chance of understanding that no means no. I know I explained that in a weird way but it made sense to me. I can already tell that Noah does not get into the cabinets he isn't supposed to and he doesn't play with the sockets. Hopefully that means it is working. He does however have his fathers temper. He throws at least one temper tantrum a day. It's usually when we take him out of the bath (his favorite place in the world) or when it's bed time.
He is now awake from his nap so I am needing to cut this shorter than planned. Did you know that it is next to impossible to be on the computer with a toddler in your house? It is.
Jen,
ReplyDeleteI remember my Mom telling me about her pregnancy with me (I'm the second child) and feeling like she could not possibly love another child as much as she loves her first. I promise, those hormones will kick in, even if its after they are born. :) Don't feel guilty about it, never feel guilty about your natural feelings. Own them. Hope you are well!