There is so much going on in my head but for some reason I cannot sort everything out. I am starting to believe it's this pregnancy, but it could also be how busy life has been these last few months.
This pregnancy has been a little different than my pregnancy with Noah. I know, every pregnancy is different. I just mean I feel different about it. Don't get me wrong, I love knowing I have another baby growing inside me, I guess I'm just not as attached to this him or her yet. I keep trying to remember back to my first trimester with Noah. I remember being terribly sick and miserable (which I'm not so much with this one) but I can't really remember how I felt. I know it could be a lot of things. I have Noah for one. He always keeps me on my toes. It could be that I am so busy with him that I don't really pay close attention to the fact that I am pregnant. It could also be that since Nathan will be leaving in a couple weeks I've been preoccupied with that. It could even be that since I am not really showing and I can't feel it moving around, it hasn't completely sunk in. I'm not sure. I just know that I feel bad about it. One thing I noticed early on was my inability to fall asleep quickly. That has been my biggest problem. I am exhausted and I get bad headaches but no matter what I do it takes about an hour for my brain to shut off.
My little Noah bug has been something else lately. Ever since he started walking my day has been all about chasing him around. He is an explorer, that is for sure. He loves to get into the cabinets and pull all our pots and pans out. I finally gave him his own cabinet with bowls I never use, lids, and spatulas. Everyday he gets the spatulas out and carries them around with him. It is really cute. I have been trying not to baby proof my house. I read in a parenting magazine that if you just teach them what they cannot touch rather than just blocking things off, they have a better chance of understanding that no means no. I know I explained that in a weird way but it made sense to me. I can already tell that Noah does not get into the cabinets he isn't supposed to and he doesn't play with the sockets. Hopefully that means it is working. He does however have his fathers temper. He throws at least one temper tantrum a day. It's usually when we take him out of the bath (his favorite place in the world) or when it's bed time.
He is now awake from his nap so I am needing to cut this shorter than planned. Did you know that it is next to impossible to be on the computer with a toddler in your house? It is.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Run
The music to this song has been stuck in my head all day long.
Nathan always makes fun of me for not really caring about the words or meanings of songs. I can't help it, I enjoy the beat. I should seriously start playing the drums or some cool instrument.
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Hurry up, please.
I get like this sometimes. Infact, just a handful of blogs back I had the same feeling.
Annoyance.
Mostly by people. Pretentious people, close minded people, people with agendas. Why is it so hard to find good hearted people in the world today? Maybe it's not the world, but the military. I couldn't tell you, this is all I know. One thing is for sure. I'm tired of it. I'd rather have no friends than be surrounded by these people.
I really need to get away. See my family and best friends. Next year needs to come quickly.
Annoyance.
Mostly by people. Pretentious people, close minded people, people with agendas. Why is it so hard to find good hearted people in the world today? Maybe it's not the world, but the military. I couldn't tell you, this is all I know. One thing is for sure. I'm tired of it. I'd rather have no friends than be surrounded by these people.
I really need to get away. See my family and best friends. Next year needs to come quickly.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
You know..
I feel like so much goes on. I have so much to do. Then I look back at it and realize I have nothing to tell about. Maybe that's why I struggle so much with this blog. I just don't have anything interesting to write.
Noah is crawling now. He started a couple of weeks ago. It's quite funny the way he does it. He gets up on his knees and then turns his left knee out and tucks his foot under his butt. Then he just pulls that leg along. He still manages to get around faster than light. He is everywhere and into everything. I'm going to be honest for a second.. I could pass this stage and be fine. I mean, I'm happy that he's reaching new milestones and I was quite worried about him crawling but it's hard to keep up with him at times. Especially with teething added in. He wants to play with dangerous things and then when I don't let him he just screams and throws a big ol tantrum. I can tell you this though, I'm learning a different kind of patience. I love Noah very much. Most of the day he's in a good mood and we have a lot of fun. He is making so many noises. I love listening to him. He also recently learned how walk forward in his walker. He follows us all over the place. It's adorable.
Our trip to Italy was great. It was very relaxing. We just hung out and didn't have any specific schedule. It did rain a few days while we were there but the sunny days definitely made up for it. Me and Nathan got sun burnt, him worse than me. That's what he gets for having pasty skin, hah. I'm getting really excited for our next trip. It really wasn't even bad bringing Noah. He did great (aside from sleeping, we didn't bring his pack n play so he slept in our bed). The plane ride wasn't too horrible either. I wish he would have slept on it but he is a kid and we were somewhere new. I think we are going to England next. Not for tourism, just to see friends. I miss England!
I am seriously thinking about taking a space a flight back to California in August. I just can't make up my mind. It's a lot more stressful than a regular flight, and with a child I might lose my mind. I do want to get back and see Patience though. Nathan is okay with me going, I'm just nervous is all. I have some planning to do I suppose.
Noah is crawling now. He started a couple of weeks ago. It's quite funny the way he does it. He gets up on his knees and then turns his left knee out and tucks his foot under his butt. Then he just pulls that leg along. He still manages to get around faster than light. He is everywhere and into everything. I'm going to be honest for a second.. I could pass this stage and be fine. I mean, I'm happy that he's reaching new milestones and I was quite worried about him crawling but it's hard to keep up with him at times. Especially with teething added in. He wants to play with dangerous things and then when I don't let him he just screams and throws a big ol tantrum. I can tell you this though, I'm learning a different kind of patience. I love Noah very much. Most of the day he's in a good mood and we have a lot of fun. He is making so many noises. I love listening to him. He also recently learned how walk forward in his walker. He follows us all over the place. It's adorable.
Our trip to Italy was great. It was very relaxing. We just hung out and didn't have any specific schedule. It did rain a few days while we were there but the sunny days definitely made up for it. Me and Nathan got sun burnt, him worse than me. That's what he gets for having pasty skin, hah. I'm getting really excited for our next trip. It really wasn't even bad bringing Noah. He did great (aside from sleeping, we didn't bring his pack n play so he slept in our bed). The plane ride wasn't too horrible either. I wish he would have slept on it but he is a kid and we were somewhere new. I think we are going to England next. Not for tourism, just to see friends. I miss England!
I am seriously thinking about taking a space a flight back to California in August. I just can't make up my mind. It's a lot more stressful than a regular flight, and with a child I might lose my mind. I do want to get back and see Patience though. Nathan is okay with me going, I'm just nervous is all. I have some planning to do I suppose.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Done
So. I did it. It's been done. My breasts are now the size I have been wanting for too long. Well, hopefully. They are bandaged down and I haven't had the chance to see them yet. I can notice a difference though.
I cried before the surgery. I tried hard not to, but lets face it, I'm a wimp.
I hoped that they would knock me out before I ever made it into the operating room, they didn't. I don't do well with cold infamiliar places, especially when I know something big is about to take place.
I remember when they knocked me out. It was like I was on acid (I'm assuming since I've never touched the stuff). There were a lot of colors and shapes and I had a really annoying song stuck in my head. I also remember feeling myself start to wake up. I remember hearing them roll me down the hall and hearing Nathan's voice when I was finally in my room.
When I woke up the first time I was still completely exhausted. The doctor came in and even he could tell that I was not completely there. The nurse tried explaining how to take care of the wounds but I couldn't focus on her so she told Nathan instead. I was so tired but I couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep. I've always been a "side sleeper" so having to sleep on my back has been miserable.
I was nauseous the first few days. The only other surgery I've had is my wisdom teeth and I didn't do well with the anesthesia or the pain meds then so I should have known I'd have the same problem. Let's hope for my sake that I never have to have surgery again. I have an incredibly weak stomach. I can deal with the muscle and incision pain, it's the nausea that just killed me.
The past two days I've been doing really well. I can move my arms quite a bit more and I've been able to eat things slowly. I actually went grocery shopping yesterday. It felt good to get out of the house. Today is the first day that I was able to get out of bed by myself. Before I would have to wait for Nathan to wake up or call him so he could help me. I hate relying so much on someone else.
I have to wear my bandage for 10 days. I get it off next Wednesday. They will also remove the stitches and drain tubes. I can't lift anything for 3 weeks and I have to wear a sports bra for awhile. Oh the things we do for self esteem.
I cried before the surgery. I tried hard not to, but lets face it, I'm a wimp.
I hoped that they would knock me out before I ever made it into the operating room, they didn't. I don't do well with cold infamiliar places, especially when I know something big is about to take place.
I remember when they knocked me out. It was like I was on acid (I'm assuming since I've never touched the stuff). There were a lot of colors and shapes and I had a really annoying song stuck in my head. I also remember feeling myself start to wake up. I remember hearing them roll me down the hall and hearing Nathan's voice when I was finally in my room.
When I woke up the first time I was still completely exhausted. The doctor came in and even he could tell that I was not completely there. The nurse tried explaining how to take care of the wounds but I couldn't focus on her so she told Nathan instead. I was so tired but I couldn't get comfortable enough to sleep. I've always been a "side sleeper" so having to sleep on my back has been miserable.
I was nauseous the first few days. The only other surgery I've had is my wisdom teeth and I didn't do well with the anesthesia or the pain meds then so I should have known I'd have the same problem. Let's hope for my sake that I never have to have surgery again. I have an incredibly weak stomach. I can deal with the muscle and incision pain, it's the nausea that just killed me.
The past two days I've been doing really well. I can move my arms quite a bit more and I've been able to eat things slowly. I actually went grocery shopping yesterday. It felt good to get out of the house. Today is the first day that I was able to get out of bed by myself. Before I would have to wait for Nathan to wake up or call him so he could help me. I hate relying so much on someone else.
I have to wear my bandage for 10 days. I get it off next Wednesday. They will also remove the stitches and drain tubes. I can't lift anything for 3 weeks and I have to wear a sports bra for awhile. Oh the things we do for self esteem.
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